How have you been? The month of May is always special to me because my birthday falls on this month. Now that I have been promoted to a Mama, I get to celebrate Mother’s Day every year (Apalah…I celebrate Mother’s Day with my own Mother every year also). I noticed that I have too many pending blog posts for this month because I want to blog about my big 30 too. Time flies. This year has been special because of Pumpkin Belle. You might have heard this many times but I will still mention it again. I never knew I could be so attached to a human being. Sounds like a pervert I know but this is the exact description. It feels as if my whole World has changed ever since she is here. The type of perseverance in me I could never imagined. The whole new level of personalities in me. The fierceness of putting someone above me. Aha, what am I babbling about? You will know it when you found that right person. This post would be spontaneous and non-related to my topic above as I am typing whatever that comes to my mind at this moment. This is what we known as “free style writing”.
*Translation: What “lah”
Here is a little bonus from me to you. You could already tell by now that I am a little bit Disney Crazy (Maybe a lot more crazier than you think). I always have been. It began to show more after I have Belle because I couldn’t contain that craziness in me anymore. If it is not now, then when? There are so many things I would love to do with my family. Traveling to Disney Land, Baking Disney’s treats, doing Disney family’s activities, dressing Disney Bound and etc. I could be quite extreme on this as this is what I loved to do. I kinda miss those times when I was the committee for our Annual Dinner 2017 and we selected the Mermaid’s theme. I had the privilege to take up the costume’s part. Blessed to be able to work with Sanee, Noor and Kathy from CCM Singapore . Million thanks to them for the great opportunity to learn about costumes and get to play around with their beautiful costumes. If you want to get any customized costumes done or rent any costumes, they should be your FIRST CHOICE. You know what, they were kind enough to offer to make my wedding costumes. The yellow gown I wore during my “Beauty and the Beast” wedding. Oh, those details on the costumes and the fine materials, you’ll never get another chance like this. I hold this beautiful memory close to my heart. They provide 5 stars service as this trio is willing to travel in and out Singapore just for us. I cannot describe how marvelous they are and their capability to make any dreams come alive. I had fun slotting through many nights designing “Mother Ocean” (all hand made) and making all my Mermaid’s dreams come true. That was a tough time for me too as some of the days, I would be left alone in Meeting Room 6, frustrated as I am running out of ideas. I would just stare in daze at the unfinished costume and didn’t realized a few hours had gone by. It feels magical once everything is completed. Not sure if you can see the pictures clearly but I hope you enjoy screening through some of my Disney’s related memories. I would still do it again if it is something related to Disney.
Designing a costume is really not an easy task. It takes a lot of time, efforts and hard work needed to complete it. From fabrics selection to putting ideas together, until you come up with the costumes and have to ensure the sizes are correct. Your clients would also want to look good on them hence they have a lot of comments and things to be amend. Alterations upon alterations and ended up having to remake the whole thing. Here is a toast to all fashion designers and costumes makers. Please do me a favor by paying them what they deserve and don’t bargain costs with them. Appreciate them a little more as they are the ones who contribute in the sparkling of magic all around the World.
Coming back to my Mother’s Day celebration, I had a blast. It was a simple decorated one with Mickey’s theme right outside our car porch. I baked my own ugly cheese cake, setting up a quick DIY Desserts table, and preparing family outfit. I just need to get all these items when they are on sales and slowly creating my own magic. Nothing feels more magical the minute we had our ears on. My aim is to be a more crafty Mama from now and obviously I am starting from Disney’s related themes. Here are some pictures to remember from my first official Mother’s Day.
Above is a letter I have written to Belle. I am honored that God has chosen me to be a Mama. I don’t have the faintest idea how Motherhood would be because I shrugged at the idea of having to go through the same pain again. Motherhood begins from pregnancy. We don’t just get pregnant and lie there for the whole nine months. I remember myself worrying and constantly touching my tummy to try to detect Belle’s heartbeats. I am terrific at the idea of a still born. I kept telling The Hubs that things are not as easy as he thinks. I remember myself being paranoid and went for scanning at least twice or thrice per month. I also remember us spending more money than a usual pregnancy is supposed to because we are clueless and have no idea where should we start. What stuck in my head forever will always be the day when Belle arrives to this World and we spent two nights in the hospital, just me and her. Me singing peacefully to her and refused to put her in the bassinet. As for now, I am definitely appreciating every moments I get to spend with Belle. Having a child is a blessing. I am seeing more good things in it than the latter. Of course Motherhood is not always sunshine and rainbow. There are days when I am depressed, frustrated, and anxious but that doesn’t mean I needed a psychiatric. I am not as weak as that. Sometimes I am just being the bold one by thinking and expressing out loud. Again, at the end of the day, I am thankful to have a healthy, living child who gets the privilege to annoy the shit out of me and is able to get away with it. Not even her father gets this deal. I am just being real and sharing from my own thoughts.
Speaking of “Thinking Out Loud”, people nowadays are getting too sensitive into perceiving open thoughts and they are indirectly giving stress to writers like us and controlling our freedom to express. Even the simplest thing (which meant no harm) also they can react badly towards it. I was like “Relax lah brother! Just chill”. Do you understand what is a personal page or personal platform? When you added that person or follow that person, you already know that is his or hers “PERSONAL” platform. They are free to post and express whatever they like. Even if you don’t like what you see also you have no rights to control anyone from posting or writing. Don’t la go and discuss about people’s business behind their backs. I am not condemning anyone but I kept getting negative comments about my writings and these negative vibes are killing my confidence. I don’t like it. You know I am fine with you unfriending me or blocking me off your sight. Just like how people can follow me on Instagram and unfollow me the next day. This is just a trendy thing to do. Of course that’s not me. It is either I follow you or I don’t. I am tired of how conservative the World is. Everything you do seems fine but when other people does the same, there is always a nail in your eyes. This is purely attitude problem my dear. Like it or not, this is my personal page. I would appreciate if you provide sources for me to improve or something to encourage me. Or else I would rather appreciate if you don’t spill your negative thoughts in it. So, please, have the courtesy to respect a human being. Life is tough enough and we are all fighting for survival. I am disturbed at the increasing rates of people diagnosing with depression all over the World just because nobody takes this seriously. You don’t like me very much and so do I but we are all adults and not toddlers. The World would be nicer if everyone could just respect one another. However, I also know this World doesn’t owe me anything. Hence, #pleasejagahatisendiridanoranglain
*Translation: Please take care of your own feelings and other people’s feeling.
On top of this gloomy weather, I am ultimate thankful to readers who will private message me to tell me they like my writings and they appreciate me for being blunt and real. This is really encouraging to me as I thought no one would care tuppence about what I have written. I started my blog with just one reader aka yours truly. Now that I know by sharing about my experiences, it could help to encourage people with similar situations. I really hate being fake or beating around the bushes. If you know me, you know I always deal with the right source. I have doubts, I’ll go directly to that person. No one is perfect. Therefore, let’s learn to make the World a better place.
Till then, take care and I shall see you very soon at my “BIG 30” (The next post la… ha ha)